Chasing Dreams, Not Deadlines: Embracing a “Softer” Feminine Life
Earlier this summer, I was in the midst of what has been a very long and sometimes arduous self-healing journey. I remember an evening in the shower, you know, the revelations that can happen while you spend 20 minutes in another world, realizing that I needed to switch to living a “softer” life.
Like many women, I've spent much of my young adulthood and even childhood, if I think about it, trying to assert a false sense of control over my life. Which is just draining, to put it lightly. Working hard to become “successful,” whatever that actually means, like that would be my golden ticket to happiness. I always felt internal pressure to get good grades in school, then find the right job, climb the ladder, and make a large salary and a name for myself. I found I was putting this control pressure on myself in my personal life, as well—burning out not just professionally but physically and emotionally. Keeping a mask of control on the outside but often flailing on the inside. Call that the Capricorn rising in me, or call it a symptom of the world we millennials have grown up in.
Still, the notion that we need to assert control, to be grinding constantly, that life and work need to be draining for us to be “successful” is a pervasive belief, especially in the US. And quite frankly, many women are realizing that this lifestyle is not for them.
A topic that’s becoming prevalent in many women’s healing journeys is the balance between masculine and feminine energies. Many of us live in our masculine without even realizing it. And it’s not our fault; it’s genuinely a byproduct of the professional and even dating culture that we’ve grown up in. We’ve needed to be in a logical, “doing” energy to assert ourselves, to be seen as serious and authoritative, or to counteract a lot of men who are in their feminine while dating.
While balancing both energies is important, and employing one side can be beneficial in certain situations, women are realizing that being in their masculine 24/7 365 is draining them. The concept of living a “softer” life has been on the rise over social media, especially in the last year or so. Women are taking pride in slowing down—enjoying their “girly” activities, whether taking the morning off work to do their face mask and meditation or staying in on a solo Friday night for a bath and tart cherry mocktail. It doesn’t need to be go, go, go all the time. They’re allowing their feminine, a relaxed, gentle, and flowing energy, to be more present in their lives.
Embracing the “soft” journey in travel
So, how does this cultural movement of a “softer” life translate to travel? Something I’ve been embracing over the last couple of years is the concept of slow travel. This type of traveling has been on the rise within the digital nomad community for quite some time, and now it’s finding its way into more mainstream travel styles.
Slow travel is saying goodbye to the crazy rush of ticking off touristy spots. It's more about soaking up the vibe of each place, getting cozy with the local scene, and forming a real bond with wherever you’re at—no more running around like a maniac to see every single thing on a checklist. You take more time in each place, and often, with this “softer” mindset, you’ve formed a lifestyle for yourself that allows you to be more leisurely, whether that’s through remote work, running your own virtual business, or having a job that gives you more time off.
If we combine the concept of slow travel with the emerging feminine energy, we could create a new little sector for ourselves. Slow feminine travel isn't a strict itinerary; it's more of a laid-back, mindful approach. It's about embracing the power of the feminine—tapping into that intuition about where to go and what to do, allowing life to guide you, enjoying the small moments, and taking it all in without the pressure. There's a mood of embracing spontaneity, saying yes to detours, and being open to whatever comes your way.
As many women are solo traveling now as a form of self-discovery and healing, slow feminine travel can become a personal journey that's all about finding your own pace, connecting with the world in a deeper way, and celebrating the flowing energy that makes the whole adventure feel uniquely yours.
Death of the “girlboss”?
Women in the generations before us worked tirelessly to gain equal wages and representation in the workplace. Watching women climb corporate ladders and establish themselves as leaders in some of the biggest companies in the world has been a true accomplishment for them and an amazing development over the last couple of decades. This growth is something I hope to continue as the years go on, and the women who are driven to be in this space keep on succeeding exponentially.
But I also want to acknowledge that this doesn’t have to be every woman’s goal in life. It’s perfectly okay if the corporate jungle doesn’t call you. It’s okay if you don’t want your life to be centered around your work (and it’s also okay if you do). The 9-to-5 office workday is becoming increasingly outdated, and stats like 63% of workers saying remote work is the most important aspect of their job prove it. Beyond that, we are also now moving into a time when people, and especially women in their “soft” eras, are making a different kind of professional path for themselves—one where there may be no office or a direct boss involved, where it’s acceptable to center a business around creativity, a slower pace, or more life than work. We are learning to tap into our intuition and follow the professional impulses that align more with our true selves.
The opportunities to create any type of niche you want, a niche that centers around who you are and your talents as an individual, are growing every day. A TikToker who has gained a large following created her own brand and business just by having the idea to sell a single bead and give it a personality, take it on walks around NYC before shipping it, or even add a black “bodyguard” bead to protect the little bead in the order. And she (@Elishacreations) is absolutely killing it. She’s not in the office grinding 80 hours a week in the name of “girlbossing.” Yet, in a way, she’s still finding a way to give herself that title.
A “soft” girlboss, if you will.